An incomplete list of my favorite customer interactions

hmslusitania:

• A phone call: 
• Me: Thank you for calling This Bookstore, how can I help?
• Customer: I’d like to talk to Tom please.
• Me:…there’s no one named Tom who works here.
• Customer: this is This Bookstore, right?
• Me: yes. 
• Customer: Then I’d like to speak to Tom
• Me: Sir I’ve worked here for a year and a half, and there hasn’t been anyone named Tom. 
• Customer: well can I leave a message for him? 
• A different phone call: 
• Me: Thank you for calling This Bookstore, how can I help?
• Customer: I’d like you to order something in for me. 
• Me: Sure! Do you have the ISBN or the author’s name or the title? 
• Customer: it’s a vinyl record. 
• Me: we’re a bookstore?
• Customer: Yes. I’d like you to order it for me off Amazon. 
• Me: You want us, an independent bookstore, to order you vinyl records off Amazon
• Customer: yes. 
• Me: Sir, that’s not a service we provide. 
• Customer: Well I don’t believe in credit cards or the internet so I need you to do it for me. 
• Yet another phone call: 
• Customer: Yes I’d like to order this book in. 
• Me: Our distributors don’t carry that book, sir. I can see about getting a used copy in. 
• Customer: Sure!
• Me: Okay, it looks like the used copy is going to be $122 plus our handling fee. 
• Customer: Google says it’s $42.
• Me: Then your best option is probably to order it online. 
• Customer: Okay. Do you have the phone number so I can call google? 
• Feel free to add your own