please google how to light a hannukah menorah (aka a hanukia) before you draw one for fanart or something, the candles correspond to what day of hannukah it is yet 99% of hannukah art has it at the last night
also you are not allowed to use the light of the candles for anything. no reading by these candles!
other things to emphasize hannukah :
really intense dreidel games
frying foods. any foods. most popular are potatoes (for latkes), sufganiyot, bimuelo, and other types of donuts because we celebrate oil
chugging oil I guess?
eating misc dairy
individually wrapped gold chocolate coins
a LOT OF FOOD
latkes have many toppings. such as applesauce, sour cream, and powdered sugar. applesauce is the best topping though
A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great
Why are ponds in games full of so many old boots? If you can fish in a game, you’re pretty much guaranteed to reel in at least one old boot. Maybe twenty. How did the boots get in the pond? Is Ye Olde Fishing Hole being used as a body dump?
yes. however if you get one from the wild you cant exactly remove said stick without exploding the corn dog. store bought can handle the stick being removed and is still a corn dog as it is a hot dog wrapped in cornbread without the stick
F-from the wild??? Exaploding corn dog??
wild corndog
YOU CAN’T EAT THOSE!!!
i dare say sir, you can.
I mean I heard about people useing them…for other reasons but not eating them. DON’T. EAT. THEM.
if you tell me one more time im gonna go get one from the corn dog bush but the road and eat it. I’ve done it before and ill do it again.
it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”
The casting call for Artemis Fowl described him as a boy with a “fun-loving, open heart” so you knew before they even landed their eyes on the first mediocre white person the movie was irretrievably fucked
The casting call described him as what now
last i checked back in 6th grade, artemis was a fuckin dick of a child
“emotional intelligence” artemis fowl literally would rather die than express an emotion
im pretty sure he actually has on multiple occassions
im reblogging this again because i just remembered that artemis fowl hates being a Human Being With Feelings so much that he emotionally and mentally devastated *several* psychologists so badly that they gave up the profession, just because he didn’t want to admit that his father being declared dead and his mother falling into severe untreated mental illness such that she couldn’t recognize him on most days might, maybe, have upset him a little.
Iron in the Sand 