that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.
anyway tear gas is actually a fucking nerve agent that can absolutely kill you and even though governments think its cool to spray it on kids the geneva convention disagrees
i’ve been thinking about this all day. speaking as a person who has been tear gassed to hell and back i wouldn’t fucking wish that sensation on my worst enemy let alone CHILDREN. it’s beyond words. don’t believe people when they tell you it’s for crowd control. it’s not. it’s to make crowds PANIC. it’s to make you fear for your life. it’s to make you feel like you’re dying. it can trigger panic attacks and asthma attacks in young people and heart attacks in the elderly. it’s fucking unconscionable is what it is and every single government who uses it should be shamed for eternity
i just realized how absolutely earth shatteringly horny the internet at large would be for darth vader if the original trilogy came out right now
my god, every facet of his character, the mask, he’s tall, he chokes people, he’s evil, good god it would be apocalyptic, this website would be fucking unusable
people are horny for kylo ren and he’s just an intentionally infinitely shittier version of darth vader who sucks fucking shit comparatively just imagine
so imagine Star Wars comes out now, everybody’s obviously drawing their fanon interpretation of Vader as hot brooding anime men so they can ship him with whomever of luke/leia/han they find personally most attractive. Empire comes around, darth is luke’s ****** (message me for spoilers!), everyone purges their Luke/Vader art and starts drawing him as a hot dad, slicked back salt-n-pepper hair and a chiseled jaw and shit
I know I often hyperbolise, but I’m not kidding when I say this excerpt from a short story called ‘Death of a Superhero’ by Christopher Fielden, where the main character is Death and they’re trying to deal with a dead woman who’s pretending to be Batman, is one of the funniest things I’ve read this year oml
Iron in the Sand 