Why on earth hasn’t anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls???? 😩
because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all
God I love when cats make that meow that’s just an indignant beep against whatever grave, outrageous injustice they think you’re imposing on them by not letting them eat the plastic rings from bottle caps or whatever
eventually someone will hear you singing when you think you’re home alone, and you’ll just have to live with that
and it won’t even be your sibling or parent. eventually you’ll grow up & your roommate’s on-again-off-again boytoy will quietly emerge from the shared bathroom as you recline on the dining room table bellowing gangnam style & wearing a towel-cape
teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!
I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11
An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”
I did not give him a high five.
A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”
Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.
Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.
Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are.
Iron in the Sand 